How to Write a Blog Post: A Totally Serious Guide (But Not Really)

So, you’ve decided to write a blog post. Maybe you’re looking to share your expertise, build a following, or just find a more socially acceptable way to rant on the internet. Whatever the reason, I’m here to help. Writing a blog is easy, right? Just slap some words on the screen, hit "publish," and boom—you’re viral. Simple. Except, not really.

Here’s a step-by-step guide on how to not lose your mind while writing a blog post. Or at least, how to lose it in a funny way.

---

Step 1: Have an Idea

This is where it all begins. You need an idea. But not just any idea. You need the idea—the one that’s going to change the world, make people laugh, cry, and wonder why they didn’t think of it first.

Of course, if that doesn’t happen, just take a nap. Sometimes inspiration strikes in your dreams... and sometimes you wake up realizing you dreamt about eating your laptop. Either way, progress!

---

Step 2: Procrastinate

Now that you have your idea, it’s time to procrastinate. This is a critical step. There’s no point in rushing into writing a blog when you can first deep-clean your house, reorganize your socks, or finally learn how to juggle. Fun fact: Professional procrastinators often find their best ideas while Googling “how to procrastinate less.”

---

Step 3: Open a Blank Document

Ah, the blank page. It’s so pure, so innocent—full of potential. Too much potential, actually. It’s terrifying. Now would be a good time to make some coffee, maybe scroll through social media to “get inspired,” or binge-watch an entire season of something. Just remember, the document is still there, waiting for you… judging you.

---

Step 4: Write the First Sentence (Just Do It!)

Okay, it’s time. You’ve procrastinated enough, and your blank document has been open for three hours. You’re ready. Now, craft the perfect opening line:

“Blogs. Everyone’s writing them. So why can’t I?”

Boom! Nailed it. Or... did you? Should it be funnier? More serious? Should it include a quote from Socrates? (No one knows what Socrates would think about blogs, but probably something deep and confusing.)

---

Step 5: Get Distracted by Word Count

Did you know most blog posts are between 800 to 1,200 words? But some are longer! And some are shorter! And suddenly, you’re down a rabbit hole of optimal word counts and SEO hacks. Somewhere in your research, you forget you were supposed to be writing a blog, not getting a PhD in content marketing.

---

Step 6: Second-Guess Everything

Wait, was the tone right? Should it be funny? Serious? Both? Neither? You question your entire existence and wonder if you’re truly cut out for this. You think about applying for that job as a professional dog walker again. Dogs never judge your blog tone.

---

Step 7: Add GIFs (Because Why Not?)

GIFs make everything better. If you’ve written two sentences and don’t know where to go from there, just throw in a GIF of a cat typing furiously or someone flipping a table. It instantly adds depth, emotional complexity, and… okay, no, but at least it looks cool.

---

Step 8: Edit Reluctantly

Editing is that annoying process where you realize the 800 words you wrote could be said in five. But then it wouldn't be a blog; it would be a tweet, and we’re not here for tweets. We’re here for content.

So you cut out the sentence about how amazing your blog idea was, remove those 14 commas you didn't need, and correct the spelling of "blogg" (it’s not spelled with two Gs, FYI).

---

Step 9: Celebrate Finishing

You did it! Your blog is written, edited, and GIF’d to perfection. Sure, you started with the intention of writing a deep, meaningful piece on the importance of writing blog posts, and instead ended up with… well, this. But it’s done. Victory!

High five your cat. You've earned it.

---

Step 10: Don’t Forget to Publish

Ah, yes. The final step. The “Publish” button, the one you’ve been avoiding because once you hit it, it’s out there—your heart and soul (or at least your mild amusement) exposed to the world.

So you hover over the button, take a deep breath, and…

Accidentally delete the entire thing.

Just kidding. Hopefully.

Now, actually hit “publish.” Or go back to Step 2 and procrastinate some more. Your call.

---

Writing a blog post isn’t hard; it’s just a series of emotional highs and lows involving caffeine, existential crises, and way too many distractions. But in the end, you’ll have something people will read—or at least pretend to. And really, isn’t that what writing is all about?

- Manpreet Kaur